Working on the 7th floor has its benefits, namely the view. But to get here, you either need to huff and puff up the stairs or take the elevator. The lazy people (Ahem, I mean the busy people) in our office who take the elevator have come up with a list of terms to describe what it’s like to climb into a 5-by-8-foot container with strangers, day in and day out.
Do you ride the elevator every day? If so, this could be you:
Eleveteran – Explains to a new rider that “G” means “ground floor.”
Shut-in butt-in – Chimes in on a conversation between people you don’t know.
Multitasker-rider – Presses the button with your nose or forehead while talking on the phone with one hand and holding a cup of coffee with the other.
Helpless hostage – Gets trapped on the elevator with a talker.
Commuter intruder – Answers “Yes!” when someone asks “You up for beer?” and you realize they weren’t talking to you.
Or, have you experienced one or more of these?
High-rise hiccup – When the elevator jerks to life.
Crowded-car conundrum – Deciding whether to squeeze into a full car or wait for the next one.
Bellhop eavesdrop – Listening to other people’s conversations in between floors.
Elavertion – Enduring the awkward silence of riding with one or more people.
Appendage sacrifice – Putting your arm or leg in between the elevator doors while they are closing.
Smelevator – Encountering scents (smoke, perfume, farts) left by the people who rode before you.
Elarant – Unloading your stressful day onto another rider.
High-rise stomach-plummet – When the elevator stops but the doors don’t open.
Salutation stumped – Coming up with different ways to say, “Have a good day!” when people reach their floor.
Tower lunch – Eating your lunch in between floors.
From your friends on the 7th floor!